Onion Fellowship Application Stories

 

Evan is a daily contributor at The Onion who has had hundreds of jokes published by them. He now contributes daily to the following sections: Headlines American Voices Infographics National News Highlights Corrections Letters To The Editor Best Sellers Movie Listing Weddings Unsung Heroes Real Estate Obituary Great Escapes TV Listing Community Calendar   It […]

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Daily Show Submission Packet

 

July 2012 DAILY SHOW CORRESPONDENT CHAT – JOHN OLIVER {***JON***} HERE TO DISCUSS TIM PAWLENTY’S POSITION AS THE VICE PRESIDENTIAL FRONT RUNNER ON THE REPUBLICAN TICKET IS JOHN OLIVER. HELLO JOHN. [TAKE: JOHN OLIVER/SENIOR POLITICAL CORRESPONDENT] {***OLIVER***} HELLO YOURSELF. {***JON***} LET’S GET RIGHT INTO IT. INSIDERS ARE SAYING THAT PAWLENTY IS THE MAN TO BEAT […]

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That Goldfish From The Fair

That Goldfish From The Fair

 

Written by the spirit of That Goldfish From The Fair Let’s be honest, did you ever even want me? From all accounts, you’ve never shown any interest whatsoever in owning, or even looking at fish before. During the brief time I was at your apartment before your indifference doomed me, I certainly didn’t notice any […]

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WHAT WILL THE ROYAL BABY BE NAMED? WILL IT BE A BOY OR GIRL? WILL I STOP LIVING VICARIOUSLY THROUGH A COUPLE WHO WOULDN’T SPIT ON ME IF I WAS ON FIRE?

WHAT WILL THE ROYAL BABY BE NAMED? WILL IT BE A BOY OR GIRL? WILL I STOP LIVING VICARIOUSLY THROUGH A COUPLE WHO WOULDN’T SPIT ON ME IF I WAS ON FIRE?

 

(THE GIST) — With the arrival of the scion of Prince William and Kate Middleton perhaps just days away, there are so many important questions to be asked when you don’t want to think about the unrelenting horror your own life has become. Questions like: In which of the hospitals that would never admit me since […]

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