I like to think I’m a good guy. I pay my taxes. I love my kids. But after a lot of soul-searching about my place in society, I’ve come to realize that I’m not nearly as innocent as I would like to believe. The hard truth is that I’m part of the problem. If we’re […]
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It’s me, Peaches. Hey, are you doing O.K.? I don’t mean to pry, but, starting a few weeks back, you’ve . . . been around more. As in, all the time. Which is totally cool, but it seems like something’s off, so I figured I’d check in. I’m a good boy—talk to me. All of a sudden, it’s […]
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Madams and good Sirs of all ages, thank you for procuring Dr. Clifton’s Fantastical Miracle Elixir! For fast-acting hair growth, look no further. We appreciate your farthings. However, to those seeking recompense, allow us to explicate the manner by which you may procure it. We do not accept bottles that have been opened by way […]
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Mathematics [C-] Jake has difficulty comprehending that I have a fraction of the patience that I used to. The other day, I yelled at my shoe for not slipping off on the first yank. Hopefully, the shoe learned its lesson so I won’t have to scold it again. Sadly, Jake also fails to understand subtraction, […]
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