The Best Part About Having A Daughter Is Using Her As A Human Shield Against Charges Of Sexism

 

Having a daughter has changed my life in ways that I never could have imagined. When I held Penelope, a feeling of pure joy washed over me. In that moment, I knew in my heart that no matter how poorly I treated women from then on, no one could ever accuse me of being a […]

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As An Abusive Cop, I’m Impressed By The Taser X26’s Battery Life

 

In my 12 years as an unhinged cop who has no business being on the force, I’ve abused a lot of people. I mean a lot. I tend to lash out at the slightest provocation, especially when I’m feeling impotent because my wife yelled at me. And tasing is kind of my go-to move when […]

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Full Frontal With Samantha Bee   Submission Packet – First Round

 

Segment Script:   {***SAM***} WELCOME BACK. A WISE MAN ONCE SAID, “HARD WORK IS ITS OWN REWARD,” WHICH, COINCIDENTALLY, IS THE SAME THING HIS BOSS SAID BEFORE ASSIGNING HIM UNPAID OVERTIME.   YOU SEE, HE DIDN’T REALIZE HOW LAZY HE WAS UNTIL SOMEBODY TOLD HIM, AND WE ARE NO DIFFERENT.   ACCORDING TO OUR STRAIGHT-TALKING, […]

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