Letters To The Editor

Dear The Onion,

You know who’s an underrated actor? I’m making a list, but I don’t have any names yet.

Dear The Onion,

Your advertising doesn’t work on me! Ha ha ha!

Dear The Onion,

Just wanted to let you know I’ve been a fan of yours ever since I was wrapped up in your newspaper as a child and left on the doorstep of a firehouse.