SAMPLE OF ONION STORIES I WROTE THE COPY FOR (NOT THE HEADLINE)

 

Report: U.S. Hospitals Spend $2 Billion Each Year Replacing Gowns Taken By Escaped Patients WASHINGTON—Amidst rapidly rising costs throughout the health care system, a report published Wednesday by the American Hospital Association has found that nearly $2 billion is spent each year replacing gowns taken by patients who escape from the nation’s medical centers. The […]

Read More  

Sample Jokes Published In Daily Content:

 

ALLENTOWN, PA—John Frankes, 32, told his corgi to sit and it did, because it had been a long day. KNOXVILLE, TN—Nathan Kessler, 26, spent a good portion of the afternoon misremembering how great Earthworm Jim was. LAKEWOOD, CO—Bob Kenney, 46, made sure his apology was way more insulting than his original comment. BRANDON, SD—Karina Stetson, 6, slowed […]

Read More  

Onion Poll

 

Do You Trust The Mainstream Media? No, but propaganda that I agree with is good enough for me. Yes, but then again, I once ate an unpeeled orange because my friend told me it would clear up my acne. Do You Think Schools Should Teach Abstinence-Only Sex Education? I just drop them off and pick […]

Read More  

Sample Infographic Jokes

 

Tips For Choosing The Right Veterinarian Before letting the veterinarian work on your beloved turtle, give them a decoy turtle to prove themselves first. Pros And Cons Of Legalizing Prostitution CON Sex is wrong The Pros And Cons Of Co-Sleeping Crying sounds way better live than through crappy monitor Probably tough for newborn to sleep […]

Read More  

Back to Top