Sample Real Time With Bill Maher   “New Rules”

 

New Rule: If you own a selfie stick, you have to let your doctor use it to perform your colonoscopy. Either way, an asshole is holding it.   New Rule: Stop making light-up sneakers in adult sizes. If you’re older than 6 and have shoes with light bulbs in them, we get to drape you […]

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Sample Monologue Jokes

 

The other day, Mike Tyson advised Americans to vote for Trump. To help out, he has even offered to bite immigrants.   The other day, a man posted a selfie while his wife was giving birth. Apparently the baby’s first words were, “Give it a rest.”   REI decided to close its stores on Black […]

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Daily Show Submission Packet

 

July 2012 DAILY SHOW CORRESPONDENT CHAT – JOHN OLIVER {***JON***} HERE TO DISCUSS TIM PAWLENTY’S POSITION AS THE VICE PRESIDENTIAL FRONT RUNNER ON THE REPUBLICAN TICKET IS JOHN OLIVER. HELLO JOHN. [TAKE: JOHN OLIVER/SENIOR POLITICAL CORRESPONDENT] {***OLIVER***} HELLO YOURSELF. {***JON***} LET’S GET RIGHT INTO IT. INSIDERS ARE SAYING THAT PAWLENTY IS THE MAN TO BEAT […]

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Totally Biased Submission Packet

 

May 2013 Run Of Jokes Several recent studies on immigrants have shown that the longer they live in America, the less healthy they become, with rates of heart disease, high blood pressure and diabetes increasing. So that’s why Republicans have been talking about letting immigrants stay here. It’s a trap! I knew something was up […]

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