Welcome to Bubble Time Laundromat

 

Empty pockets before washing. Do not overload machines. Or underload machines. Load machines the exact right amount. Customers are welcome to use the carts. They’re caked in hair from the last six people that used them. But don’t worry: Only five of them had lice. Our manager Jim would clean them, but he’s busy watching […]

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SAMPLE OF ONION STORIES I WROTE THE HEADLINE AND COPY FOR:

 

Study Finds Growing Number Of Americans Would Be Comfortable With Female Pep Boy PHILADELPHIA—Providing further insight into the country’s rapidly shifting attitudes about gender, a study released Friday by the Pew Research Center found that a growing number of Americans would be comfortable with a female Pep Boy. “Times have changed, and I think it […]

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HYOOM INTERVIEW

 

EVAN WAITE ON BECOMING A STAGGERING JOKE WRITING MACHINE Evan Waite is an executive story editor on NBC’s Sunnyside and has previously written for Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Showtime’s Our Cartoon President, Kevin Hart’s Guide to Black History,and Comedy Central’s The President Show. Besides his television writing career, Evan Waite is also a prolific prose humorist with credits including The Onion, MAD Magazine, […]

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DISPATCHES FROM THE GREAT THERMOSTAT WAR

 

By Evan Waite and River Clegg The conflict known today as the Great Thermostat War of 2014 was fought from April to July of that year, in the Jacobs & Bridges Accounting firm’s Pittsburgh branch. The result of a long-simmering feud over the office’s temperature, hostilities broke out when a ragtag regiment of coworkers with […]

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